Piss Wax

So I purchased a new pair of khakis about 3 weeks ago. They are pretty stylin'. Unbeknownst to me at the time of purchase, they are equipped with stain guard technology. This is the coating in the material that causes liquid to bead up and roll right off your pants. It's my first pair of khakis with this feature. Yes, pants really CAN have features. One feature I never sport is pleats.

Back to the stain guard technology. There is one side effect that I had not thought about. Have you ever noticed the ring of splashed piss that surrounds the floor around a men's bathroom urinal? (Ladies, trust me on this one.) The porcelain is sanitary, but it deflects urine like a racquetball on concrete. The first time I used a urinal with my new pants, I walked down the hall and realized I had urine-beads all down my legs. Yes, my pants looked like a freshly waxed Cadillac after a thunderstorm. What disturbed me most was the amount of urine-beads. Did anything even make it into the urinal? Halfway down the hall I had to decide whether to wipe the beads with my bare hands, turn around and wipe the beads with a paper towel, or just let them roll off my pants as I walked. Another realization, if the piss was beading off my pants now, where was it going before the stain guard technology? It dawned on me that the urine simply soaked into my other pants. Technology is amazing.