Chug-A-Lug

A new year usually means new resolutions. Millions of people across the world decide to improve their lives. However, as we all know these changes rarely stick and in a short time everyone falls back into their routines. I believe the reason for this is because the promises people make to themselves are generally empty and shallow. If they weren't, people wouldn't be waiting until the new year in the first place. If you are serious about making a life change, it has to be done immediately. Procrastination, lack of motivation, and routine. These are the culprits that cause the general public to lead mundane lives.

As the calendar eases into 2007, I have decided to make a change. Actually, it is coincidence that it falls at the start of the new year. I could care less about the date. But call it a resolution if you want. A few months back I began to realize that I had a drinking problem. Before you get that dramatic feeling, allow me to elaborate. I am no Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. There are far more serious cases of alcohol abuse than mine. With some perserverence, it can be self-defeated. But the first step is admitting you have a problem, right?! There are people that drink more than I do and would say they don't have a problem. Maybe they don't. But for me personally, it has taken too large of a hold on my life. Is alcoholism not relative to the individual? If I drink 4-5 days out of the week, it might be time to self-actualize.

If I look back at the last 10 years, one of the biggest hinderences is alcohol. Or, beer. I love beer. The other biggest is my own mental issue with motivation. But I have to defeat the external affect before the internal issue can be fought. From roughly 18-23, I would say lack of motivation came first. I didn't drink with as much frequency as I have the last 5 years, when nightly beer-runs have become routine. If I could limit drinking only to when I am with friends, it may have never come to this. But I drink by myself more often than not. Just writing this blog makes me want an icy-cold 24 oz.!

I have an addictive personality. So at first, I find it crucial to quit cold turkey. If I don't dive in 100%, I will always find a reason to hit up the gas station. Maybe in a couple months I can start limiting it to special events. But, hopefully by then I won't need to drink at all. When I look at who I truly am, or who I was, it doesn't involve alcohol. It is like I let a stranger into my house and he won't leave. If you can succeed in life with beer, enjoy the suds! But for me, I feel better days can be had without it. After all, it is a depressant and it does just that. Webster uses the following to define depress: to lessen the activity or strength of.

Julie is aware of this admirable pursuit. Much of my drinking has been done while she is working the night shift. So I will physically be going at it alone. I also felt it important to blog. By letting other people know about it, it makes me feel more accountable for my actions. I can hear you saying, "Wes, isn't your wife and future child enough reason to straighten up and fly right!" Yes, they are. But I am still telling you... at the risk of sounding showy. Which I assure you, I am not. I have had some conversations on this with like-minded friends lately, and wanted to share.